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Developing Skills to Understand Other People Simon Baron-Cohen, describes empathy as a universal solvent. Any problem immersed in empathy becomes soluble. Understanding other people’s emotions is a key skill in the workplace and everyday life. It can enable us to resolve conflicts, to build more productive teams, and to improve our relationships with co-workers, clients and customers. But, while most of us are confident about learning new technical skills, we may feel ill-equipped to develop our interpersonal skills. And many people are self-conscious about discussing their own feelings, never mind anyone else’s. Empathy is the ability to recognize emotions in others, and to understand other people’s perspectives on a situation. Also, empathy enables you to use that insight to improve someone else’s mood and to support them through challenging situations. Empathy is often confused with sympathy, but they are not the same thing. Sympathy is a feeling of concern for someone, and a sense that they could be happier. Unlike empathy, sympathy doesn’t involve shared perspective or emotions. You can feel sympathy for someone you see in tears in the street, for example, without knowing anything about their situation. Sympathy may develop into empathy, but doesn’t necessarily do so. Daniel Goleman further explains that empathy is one of the five key components of emotional intelligence which is a vital leadership skill. It develops through three stages: cognitive empathy, emotional empathy and compassionate empathy. Cognitive Empathy Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand what another person might be thinking or feeling. It does not involve any emotional engagement by the observer. Cognitive empathy is a mostly rational, intellectual, and emotionally neutral ability. This means that some people use it for negative purposes. For example, those with a Machiavellian personality trait may use cognitive empathy to manipulate people who are emotionally vulnerable. Emotional Empathy Emotional empathy is the ability to share the feelings of another person, and so to understand that person on a deeper level. It’s sometimes called “affective empathy” because it affects or changes you. It’s not just a matter of knowing how someone feels, but of creating genuine rapport with them. Compassionate Empathy Compassionate empathy is the most active form of empathy. It involves not only having concern for another person, and sharing their emotional pain, but also taking practical steps to reduce it. For example, imagine that one of your team members is upset and angry because he or she delivered an important presentation badly. Acknowledging their hurt is valuable, and affirming their reaction but best of all is putting aside some time for them, and offering practical support or guidance on getting through the situation and preparing for next time

by lisajayden

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